Why Young Children Tell Fibs and How to Respond
By Ellis Okonjo · Oct 25, 2026 · 6 min read
In a nutshell
Early lying is a normal developmental step. How you respond shapes whether honesty becomes a habit.
It can be unsettling the first time your child tells an obvious fib — “The dog drew on the wall!” But researchers see early lying as a sign of developing thinking skills: children are learning that other people do not know everything they know.
The goal is to encourage honesty without making children afraid to tell the truth.
Tip 1 Why children lie
- đź’ˇ To avoid getting into trouble
- đź’ˇ Wishful thinking or imagination mixing with reality
- đź’ˇ To get something they want
- 💡 To protect someone’s feelings
- đź’ˇ To test what happens
Tip 2 Avoid setting traps
If you know your child ate the biscuits, asking “Did you eat the biscuits?” invites a lie. Instead, state what you know calmly: “I see the biscuits are gone. Let’s talk about it.”
Tip 3 Make honesty safe
Thank children for telling the truth, even when the truth is about something they did wrong. Keep consequences calm and proportionate. Children who fear harsh punishment are more likely to lie.
Tip 4 Model honesty
Children notice when adults tell small lies. Talking about why honesty matters, and admitting your own mistakes, teaches by example. Stories and books about honesty can also help start conversations.
Tip 5 When to seek help
If lying is frequent and persistent in older children, or linked to other worrying behaviour, talk to their school or a health professional.
This is general parenting information, not medical advice. Every child is different — talk to your paediatrician, family doctor, or a qualified specialist about your child’s health, development, or behaviour. In an emergency, call your local emergency number.